You only live once.

ever feel under appreciated as if your only visible when someone needs you? feeling it right now.

with like everyone! i honestly don't know who to trust anymore. 

it's always the little things that shouldnt even matter. 

how come noone thought to warn me that life got more difficult as you got older. -.-

we spend our whole lives, working our little arses off to please other people and to say we got somewhere in life when at the end of it all, we die anyway. thats not to say we shouldn't try, or give up. I just fail to understand why it's so difficult to be alive.

I have a feeeling i've ranted something like this before. dejavu mofos.

nothing much new to tell tbh, still whining over the same guys, still in all the same situations as before. 

i have such a boring life! 

i feel like im waiting around on something that never seems as though its gonna happen. and getting my hopes up over nothing. its like a situation where you sit about and really dont know what to doo. :( 

so last night ended up smoking some weed and getting higgggggggggggh, for the first time eva. That stuff is so much betta than alcohol. It makes you like sooooo happy. Like i hadnt felt that happy in god knows how long it made me realise just how much i'd been feeling down! Not gonna lie, think im gonna end up relying on this stuff from now on :L

hahahaha

soz this was a boring wee post, didn't have much to tell sadly :(

toots

Kez 

x

so, in bed, cuppa tea, some toast and watching the first series of skins, aww. good wee day.

thursday was just shit because it was a non-uniform day, and who can reallllly be bothered with those? it's so much effort to find something thats not too trampy, but not too over dressed, that says, 'mmfph, your hot.' but not 'is she going to a club or some shit?'

either way i hate them. AND what annoys me more is people, who never ever come into school, unless it's a non uniform day. WHAT IS THE POINT? It's the same as every other day, except you wear your own clothes...your friends see you every weekend in your own clothes..whats the difference?

i went down to BMC after school thursday aswell to have a look at their A-Level courses and other courses. It was actually really good, but the whole thought of going somewhere that isn't my school at the moment scared me. It's a massive step..like this determines my whole future. Anyway, I applied but only as a backup incase I don't get enough points to get back into school. Which i should seeing I did well in my mocks.

The thought of the future is so scary, who know's what will come, and where I'll end up a few years from now, I don't understand how the world works...Bills, taxes, insurance, etc etc. It seems like a whole lot of money and thats something I doubt I'll handle easily. Truth is, I'm terrified I won't get by in life, I don't want to end up with nothing, no home, no money, no food. And I can't live off my parents for the rest of my life. I just don't know how in anyway that this can end up good. The real worlds so confusing. And watching skins it just looks like life gets shitter as it goes on and on.

anyway sorry for my rant

thanks for anyone whos hyped and followed me recently, it means a lot to me, and it's great to know there's people out there who get me!

love you all!

toots

Kez

x

REBEL.

well actually im going in at lunch time, because my mum won't let me stay off the whole day, but shes a work so i told her im going in at break. but im going in at lunch.

REBEL ;)

so i decided to sit in bed watching pretty little liars, and be cosy, blocked nose, sore throat, tummy pains, bleughhh. 

i really want it to be the weekend, so i can just fuck off and be drunk.

as bad as drink is for you, and as shitty as it makes you feel when you start to sober up, those few hours, where you don't remember anything, is like freedom from all your problems, a little chance of escape so you can finally breathe, or not breathe, depending on your state lololol

and i just got a text from my friend saying theres a note for me at the school office, and thats always scary bikkies.

i dont have much to write because i haven't done much today yet, but i was bored so i was like heyyy piczo! 

sorry i was boring today.

toots

Kez

x

this weekend, overall, okay, could have added some alcohol, and some hot guys and it woulda been better but we don't always get what we want. 

my cousins 18th was on friday, was a good wee night with the family like, and i don't see my cousins often so yenno why not.

spent my saturday travelling home from that with a sick little puppy called buddy on my knee not loving the car journey. (i maaaaay not have mentioned that I got a doggie, so i'll postt a wee pic ;)..) and then dooown to wee stevos house for a chippy and bitch with him, and hollie hoots.

i love hollie, we spend our time gossiping and taking photos and generally just laughing at each others faces. especially about connor. lol. he decided he wanted his bit off her when she was drunk one night, god love her. 

hes an actual middle toe. i call everyone toes now because its the perfect way to describe someone useless. therefore, connor, is a toe. specifically a middle toe because that makes him even more useless that a big toe or little toe which help keep balance. 

i dont know what i'm going to do about him, he still hasn't made a move since i last posted, and all i ever see is his check ins on facebook where hes with all these other girls probably getting his bit for the day, and im not gonna lie it near brings me to fucking tears everytime i see something like that.

i mean, why does it STILL hurt so much? and why does it STILL feel like hes betraying me when hes with other girls, because hes not! he has every right! i just want that girl to be me. i don't understand how he could just forget, after all we went through. why i'm not enough for him when i gave him everything i had. 

WHY DOES HE SUCK?

thats where my wee rihanna post i put in a few days ago comes in handy, it describes exactly how i feel right now about him. have a peek. ;)

fuck it.

im becoming a nun.

toots

Kez 

xoxo